The First Church of Senior Lab and the Grand Lord PSI
The first church of senior lab and of the Grand Lord PSI is an ecstatic but not celibate (not by choice anyway) order of semi-monastic monks that are forced to dwell in the perpetual darkness that is senior lab. Sometime during the Frank-Hertz lab my lab partner Robert and myself realized that the truth was realized only in the deepest darkness. A deeper darkness than could be obtained by putting plastic over the windows or under the doorway. A deeper darkness than could be realized by taking garbage bags and putting them over the spectrometer and our heads to better see the spectral lines.
He the prophet of senior lab, James Little, is shown in a rare fit of good humor and placid temperament. The high priest Robert Carver is contemplating the destruction of his enemies.
No, the truth was realized in the deep darkness of our faith in science, and in the Grand Lord PSI who is the god of science. To realize true faith in the darkness and in the Grand Lord PSI you must first expose yourself to ten consecutive hours of working on a lab. Than you must begin to make loud and inappropriate jokes about your classmates and to laugh at them with a humor that is of an order of magnitude greater than what is appropriate.
As you work on the lab longer and longer you will feel your grip on sanity become weaker and weaker. After a time it becomes really quite clear that the lab is a good place. The darkness is a good place, after all, without darkness you cannot see the light (in the form of spectral lines). It was also revealed to us that pez containers could be used to bless the senior lab equipment if they are passed in front of the equipment in the shape of a PSI. The approved pez containers are Kermit the Frog, Yoda, and Bugs Bunny.
So, what have we learned here? Give obeisance to the Grand Lord PSI and he will reward you with the correct answers. Eat pez and be rewarded with greater intelligence. Give James Little lots of money and you may by rewarded by my considering letting you see my lab write-ups.
This page was prepared by James Little, Fall '97.